Not this....

I don't know what I want.

It's sad, but I literally have no idea.

I just know it's not this.

It's not even in the vicinity of this.

But I feel so trapped, stuck, like nothing I do would matter any way. Like even if I did know, it would be impossible to achieve, obtain, or make happen. So why bother?

And then I don't bother.

And I keep not bothering.

So another day, week, month, year passes. With me still not knowing. Still being stuck. Still being trapped. Still being nowhere near anything positive, good, or constructive.

Excuse me while I bury my face in my pillow and cry. Again.