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Wednesday, March 14, 2012

Why am I in bed???

Seriously, it's as simple as that. Why am I in bed?

The answer: I don't know.

I went to bed last night slightly manic, slept through my alarm, and woke up late in an unexplained low mood. I drank a bunch of water, ate some supposed "energy boosting" food, drank some tea, yet here I sit. Even sitting here I could be reading, knitting, doing my nails, anything. But I'm not. I'm just sitting here. Even finding the energy and motivation to write this post is proving to be ridiculously trying.

What am I afraid of? Failure? Success? Even trying? Yup. Yup. And yup. Why don't I feel that I am deserving and worthy? Why don't I feel that anyone else will ever see me as deserving and worthy?

I have to stop now because I'm about to cry. And I really don't have the energy or strength to handle that today.

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